The Real Jenn is Back

It is official! I have completed the academic portion of my DPT degree.  I am beyond excited, but at the same time it hasn't truly hit me yet.  The last three years have been a rollercoster of emotions for me.  There were many nights of tears, many nights of only 3 hours of sleep, many times I wanted to put my hands in the air and call it quits, and to put it bluntly probably the worst three years of my life.

I've felt like as a mother I have missed out on so much with my children, even though I haven't actually missed hardly any of their special events.  I just could never relax when I was with them and focus every ounce of my attention on them because deep down inside I was worrying about what I needed to do for school when I had 10 minutes kidless.  It wasn't fair to them and all too often they would say, "mommy, you must have a test, you are crabby and there are notecards everywhere." It was hard on both Michael and Mary-Ann, however, especially hard on my sensitive little man, who over the past month has been my own personal cheerleader.  In the mornings before I left for school he would say, "mommy, how many more days until your done? I know you are going to pass! Good luck Mommy!" Today, as I received emails with my final grades, they would both cheer with glee as I said, "yeah, I passed" They would both scream, "mommy passed her test, YEAH!!!" It was precious!  I can't wait to be able to enjoy my time with them, live a somewhat normal lifestyle of a working mother, sleep a full nights sleep without heart palpitations (i hope) and waking up whipping out a book to check something one last time. 

The extremely dark tunnel I have been stuck in for the past three years is slowly starting to shine light. Without my truly amazing parents, husband, friends, and children I would never have been able to get through this.  As my "normal" life begins again, I look forward to being able to eat dinner as a family, put the kids to bed, READ A BOOK (first one being 50 Shades of Grey), Exercise on a regular basis, bake and cook again, watch reality television, do my photo albums, and play with my beautiful children.  I CAN'T WAIT!!! Here's to my "new normal" life!


 

MIA

I have been MIA! Lost in the world of school, constant studying, and endless nights of sleep. In less than 24 hours, I will be on vacation for a week. I am looking forward to this vacation as it is the last one before I enter my last 12 weeks of the academic portion of my Doctorate Degree! YIKES!!!
The most exciting part of vacation is being able to spend LOTS and LOTS of time with my loves, my family! I am so blessed for each and every single one of them.

Tooth #2!!!

The tooth fairy comes again! Last night was a very busy night! We learned to tie our shoes and Mikey lost his second tooth!

Tying Sneakers is a Process!

"I did it, I did it Mommy!" Those are the words I heard over and over again as Michael repeatedly practiced tying his shoe for an hour last night. We even had to skype Ahma and Ahpe to show them this huge accomplishment! He is so proud of himself. This morning he woke up and got dressed away only to put his sneakers on by himself! I can't begin to tell you how proud of him I am. He is such a determined little man.

When it Rains it Pours!

The McMaugh house is FLOODED!!!!
Sunday night after a ridiculously long stressful weekend Mary-Ann was in the ER with Coup until 2:00 am. Monday she stayed home still with a terrible coup cough. Monday afternoon Mikey comes home from school saying his head hurt and had a low grade fever. Mommy is running around ragged trying to cram in 400 pages of notes so I can just pass my test. Tuesday morning Mikey wakes up with a fever and continued headache and Mary-Ann is STILL coughing up a lung (if she even has one left). Daddy calls and says his throat hurts, and Mommy has a sore throat and tickly nose...plus still has TONS and TONS of studying to do. Both kids tonight have fevers, one is hacking away even with prednisone and Robatussin with Codeine and one has a fever with bad bad headache and is crying! Oh topper is phone call from Uncle Rick that Nan has developed a long infection and will need to be in the hospital for another week! Praying for Nan to pull through. I love this lady so much!

I want to scream, cry, run away, put my hands up in the air and call it quits...but I have the most AMAZING parents in the ENTIRE world that are helping me and motivating me to stay strong and picking up for my slack while Mike continues to slave away to support us sick and all!

Amazing Grace!!!

Fourteen years ago, I was introduced to Nan. She was living alone, teaching in the ghetto, drove a car, cared for the ENTIRE family, and was completely independent. November 8, she will be 97! It has only been over the past year that she has been declining functionally. She no longer is able to ambulate Independently. She requires a rolling walker to walk. She quite frequently gets urinary tract infections that land her two week visits in the nursing home, but quickly bounces back and is home again, living with her son. To me, she is an AMAZING women. I have been blessed with getting to know her very well. I truly admire and love this women to pieces.

On Thursday morning, Nan fell and broke her hip. That evening we drove to RI to visit her in the hospital. Our visit was good, lots of laughs partly because she was so drugged up. She remembered us, the kids, my parents, however, had no clue where she was, the time of day it was. Her speech was slurred, she was "missing her toe", she was going to make us some dinner, and told me I was PERFECT! How funny!!! I asked her if I was as perfect as Mike and she said, "well, not quite!" LOVE HER!!! Friday morning she was due to go in for surgery with a 50/50 chance of survival. I was so nervous. I had to stay home to chaparone a field trip and watch my little man present his sandwich fair project to the school, so I was unable to go down there for the day. At 4:00 she had made it out of surgery and was in recovery. I was on my way down to see her. I felt like a thousand pounds were off my chest. Arriving at the hospital I was alone. Mike was up with Nan. When I walked in, it was NOT the same experience as the night before (obviously). She looked awful, the poor little lady. She has been constantly on my mind and of course I have a huge exam on Thursday that I am now so far behind with studying! I know that she is going to make it through this, she truly is AMAZING, however, I do feel like it is just a matter of time, and my heart (as well as Mikes) will be broken.

HOORAY FOR THE FAYAH!

The fall is my FAVORITE time of year. One of my favorite events of the fall is going to the fair! Last year we started a tradition of having a Hooray for the Fayah party. It was so much fun. So, this year we of course had another party. Once again it was a blast. I got to kick back and relax all weekend without opening a book, I spent time with my amazing family, and I saw some old high school friends. I think the worst part of the weekend, was going on a ride after a night of drinking and an empty tummy!

Struggles of Motherhood.

Life the past few years has been difficult trying to manage being a mother, a wife, working, and going to school, but when I compare last year to today it seems like a breeze. Michael has started Kindergarten. It has been a huge adjustment not only for him but for Mommy, Daddy, and Mary-Ann as well. Personally, I feel that going to Kindergarten a full day is WAY too much for a little five year old. I would say 3 out of 5 nights we have a huge meltdown due to being exhausted. He has had his ups and downs weekly. This past week was my fault, because I was NEVER home. When Daddy walked in the door I would leave and go study without giving my little sensitive man and very independent daughter a kiss goodnight. The poor little guy was struggling. I will never forget the sincerity in his voice when he informed me of his "not so good day" at school. When asking him why he was having trouble listening and following instructions, he said in the sweetest, most sincere voice, eyes looking in mine, "mommy, I miss you!" I did everything I could to not burst into tears. It absolutely stabbed my heart. To this day I think, is this education really worth missing being with my children every minute of the day. I have been told it is worth it in the end, however, I must say I am not convinced! His teacher also reported to me on that day, she had asked him what was wrong and he said, "I miss my momma." When the teacher told me this after my conversation with Michael, I broke into tears on the phone with the poor lady. It was such a heart breaking day.


This year is going to be a struggling filling many shoes. I know not only working, being mommy, a wife, and a student, but, I am a member of the PTA (parent teachers association), a soccer coach, the team parent for Michaels football team, basketball coach, and I have to transport children to and from there multiple extracurricular activities: gymnastics, football, and soccer, as well as, school functions (open houses, family fun nights). My schedule looks something like this:
Mondays: gymnastics at 5:00
Tuesdays: school all day and PTA at 6:00
Wednesday: Football practice
Thursday: School
Friday: Usually Free night(HOORAY)
Saturday: Soccer 9-10 and work 10:30-4:30
Sunday: Football 1-2
Life is a little chaotic and I wonder if I will survive this, but every minute of it is so valuable and precious to me. I can't imagine my life any other way!

Switzers!!!

Summer is upon us and that means....GOOD OLD MR. SWITZER! Michael was in a class with third and fourth graders and looked like a midget and Mary-Ann was with Mr. Switzer. During the course of swim lessons I agreed to take on Geof's children as well. So, for two weeks I had four kids all day and all night. It was an adventure and it made me realize, I could never be a mommy of four!

Boys will be Boys!

So Michael has a new found passion. That passion isn't playing trucks...it is climbing trees! One day Michael was outside playing and I couldn't find him anywhere...all I heard was his little voice "i'm over here!" All of a sudden I looked up in a tree and there he was!

Milestone Achieved!

Mary-Ann has learned how to pump a swing and get going really high!

MY BABY BOY IS GROWING TOO FAST!

I never thought this day would come. I am so happy, yet so sad. Ms. Sally, has informed me that Michael is more than ready for Kindergarten. He knows all his letters upper case and lower case, numbers, shapes, his address, our phone number, and mommy and daddy's name. Preschool graduation is May 25 and he is registered for Kindergarten as of today at 1:00. We have Kindergarten orientation on May 26. It is unbelievable to me on how fast time flies. I am so excited for this, but so anxious.

PROUD MOMMY!

Michael hates to be put on the spot. He is extremely shy (until he gets to know you), and really doesn't like grand lunches at school. He gets so anxious, misbehaves at school and home prior to the show, and cries about having to go on stage. It is something he needs to get over and outgrow, however, he is NO different than his mommy! Unfortunately I gave him this LOVELY quality!

Last week Ms. Sally, Michael's teacher, approached me about the grand lunch and NOT having Michael actually up on stage but being involved in the performance "backstage". I was a little upset after having this discussion with Ms. Sally because I felt that it is something he needs to learn how to do and that as a parent and teacher we had to encourage him to participate. I didn't want him to think that if he didn't want to do something, he could misbehave and not have to do it. For days and days, I thought about my conversation with his teacher. We went through this with the first grand lunch, and Mike spoke with Ms. Sally, telling her that he expected Michael to be on the stage and would discuss his behavior with him. Low and behold, he was on the stage, and the STAR of the show...a little angel. This time, I thought I would give Ms. Sally the benefit of the doubt, respect her decision, and let Michael sit back and do all the props and the program for the show. I felt okay about my decision.

On the day of the show, Michael was determined not to be involved, for the first half of the show he sat on my lab and watched...but....during the last performance, Michael got up and walked up onto the stage and joined his friends, all by himself! I was so proud of him! My brave little man...I know he is going to come out of his shell! He is going to have to if he wants to be a doctor like he says he wants to!

Dress Up!

Day 1 of vacation starts with stripping beds and cleaning comforters, pillow pets, and doggies after 48 hours of sickness. In the process of doing that in walks Mary-Ann dressed like mommy!

T-24hrs = VACATION!!!

This has been my life for the past week. Finals are upon me and I have NO desire and NO motivation to study my endless stack of notecards, my pages and pages of special tests for all the joints and muscles in the body knowing, my little man, is sick with a cough, fever, headache, and sore throat, laying on the couch with his doggy watching television, playing leapster, and reading books. I just want to be with him and make him better!

Surprises...

There is nothing like going to bed after a long stressful day and finding my bed made and this note next to it from the most amazing little boy, my son, Michael!

Tubing Fun!

Winter is such a tough time of year to keep the kids entertained and active! This past weekend was a quiet one for me as far as studying and upcoming exams, so we decided to venture off to King Pine and hit the slopes for some sledding! It was so much fun! Michael and Mary-Ann loved it, especially when they spun us prior to going down the hill. After each run, they both would scream "Again, Again!" Both kids lasted about an hour and a half..which for Mary-Ann is a long time considering her Raynauds disease! Our next adventure will be to the mountain for their "knee high program!" Both Kids have been skiing is 18 months, however, only a hand full of times and neither one of them have had lessons. Let the winter fun and activities begin!

Renegade Playground Challenge Here I come!

It is official, I have signed up for my first ever 5k! I will be participating in the Renegade Playground Challenge at New Hampshire Speedway on June 4! I am so super excited, hopefully my knee will handle this fun adventure. It is a kick off to my dieting and good health! Training has begun...good eating has begun...I refuse to make a fool out of myself!
www.renegadeplayground.com

Nine Lives!

Cats are known to have 9 lives, but I strongly believe that Suzi, has part cat in her and is slowly exhausting all of her nine lives. She has 2 remaining, and is becoming a multi-thousand dollar dog with each live she exhausts.

My dad went in for a THR, and I was left caring for their two dogs as well as mine. 4 springer spaniels, 2 kids, and Mike and I in a small house isn't an easy task. I left for school first thing in the morning took my exam, ran to the hospital to check on things, came back to Moultonboro to let ALL the dogs out, and then went to get my munchkins from the babysitters, all to go back to Concord to see Ahpe!

Upon arriving home, we were NOT greeted by Suzi, a huge concern to me. I searched the house and thought, "my gosh, I left Suzi outside accidentally". When I went back up stairs to search, I heard a scratch at our unfinished master bathroom door. I opened it up and out ran Suzi, crazy as ever. I began our nightly routine, after all it was 7:30. Feed the dogs, got kids dressed and ready for bed, sat down to relax for a few (after all I was up at 4:25 to study), only to hear the kids scream, "yuck, one of the dogs threw up." Not thinking anything at all I picked it up and sat down again, only to have to get up again b/c the dogs wanted to go outside. Walking into the kitchen was a large pile of throw up with candy wrappers of all kinds in it. Instantly everything clicked. Suzi had eaten the Easter baskets filled with candy from last year that I hid on the kids and clearly forgot about! I ran upstairs and sure enough that is what happened. Of course, Mike wasn't home and had ski team, so I texted him letting him know we may have a problem. He encouraged me that she would be fine until he got home and then we would make a decision about taking her to get seen.

At 9:00 I was getting ready to finally put the kids down (later than usual) when I noticed Suzi's hind legs tremoring! It was so scary. I didn't know what to do so I just sat and acted like things were fine. Suzi would jump up and down of the couch, until finally she vomited ALL over the floor, again chocolate covered with TONS and TONS of candy wrappers. There was so much vomit I had no clue how to clean it up! Figuring it out, I called my parents and they told me I had to call the hospital immediately as chocolate was TOXIC to dogs.

At 9:15, my lovely neighbor Pat came to sit with the kids, while I ran Suzi to the Vet Hospital in Meredith. Four hundred dollars later, Suzi was forced to vomit, had IV injections, Charcoal, x-rays, and a VERY strict diet of 2 tablespoons of rice, and lean hamburger 6 times a day for 24-36 hours with close monitoring for toxicity. Signs including, hyperactivity, anxiousness, vomiting, diaherra, and tremors! She has since survived the 24 hour watch! I'm telling you this dog has nine lives.

Suzi's Nine lives:
.1. Eating my pantyhose (during my banking career. HA HA HA).
.2. Eating 9 whole tooth picks that were in Filet Mignon and passing all 9 of them.
.3. A porcupine fight (of course she lost)
.4. getting shot by our neighbor
.5. eating beer grinds from Mikes home brewing.
.6. eating well beyond 16 oz. of chocolate
.7. eating di-con!

May she keep staying strong, but seriously ease up on making our finances suffer! God love this dog!!!

Pajama Day!!!

Pajama day is always a favorite, but going to your school in pajamas in a VERY special surprise!